Author Lucie Guerre posted the following writing prompt on Facebook:
Found an advertisement on Facebook for "100% human hair". Create a story in which someone buys 100% human hair off a Facebook ad and why they would make such a purchase.
Memo
To: Invasion Preparatory Staff
From: General Zork-Snut
In our efforts to transform our Invasion Force into the likeness of earthlings, it has become painfully obvious that we are lacking in one resource.
Unlike the people of our planet, humans have hair on their heads. If this mission is to be successful, we must acquire a large amount of human hair ASAP.
Sclat Dok, one of our advance scouts has found an advertisement on something that humans call "Facebook" for 100 percent human hair. With this memo, I authorize Ms. Dok to buy enough human hair to cover the heads of 50 members of our invasion force.
Ms. Dok, please do this ASAP. Our people have never had hair on their heads before, and they will need time to adjust to it before they invade Earth and try to pass as humans.
The success of our mission depends on this.
===================================
Memo
To: General Zork-Snut
From: Sclat Dok
It might not be necessary to buy so much hair. In the last several years, it has become a fashion for male humans in some countries to shave their heads. I might be able to save the mission some money by buying hair only for the females in the invasion force.
Please advise.
PS: I wish you would get email. It's a real pain having to send these memos back and forth.
==================================
Memo
To: Sclat Dok
From: General Zork-Snut
Just buy the hair. If we end up with too much, you can always sell it to a movie studio for their next sci-fi flick.
I will never get email. I can't figure it out, and if I can't figure it out it has no right to exist.
=================================
Memo
To: General Zork-Snut
From: Sclat Dok
Okay, Pop. I won't argue with you. Say hello to Mom and tell her I am safe.
To: Invasion Preparatory Staff
From: General Zork-Snut
In our efforts to transform our Invasion Force into the likeness of earthlings, it has become painfully obvious that we are lacking in one resource.
Unlike the people of our planet, humans have hair on their heads. If this mission is to be successful, we must acquire a large amount of human hair ASAP.
Sclat Dok, one of our advance scouts has found an advertisement on something that humans call "Facebook" for 100 percent human hair. With this memo, I authorize Ms. Dok to buy enough human hair to cover the heads of 50 members of our invasion force.
Ms. Dok, please do this ASAP. Our people have never had hair on their heads before, and they will need time to adjust to it before they invade Earth and try to pass as humans.
The success of our mission depends on this.
===================================
Memo
To: General Zork-Snut
From: Sclat Dok
It might not be necessary to buy so much hair. In the last several years, it has become a fashion for male humans in some countries to shave their heads. I might be able to save the mission some money by buying hair only for the females in the invasion force.
Please advise.
PS: I wish you would get email. It's a real pain having to send these memos back and forth.
==================================
Memo
To: Sclat Dok
From: General Zork-Snut
Just buy the hair. If we end up with too much, you can always sell it to a movie studio for their next sci-fi flick.
I will never get email. I can't figure it out, and if I can't figure it out it has no right to exist.
=================================
Memo
To: General Zork-Snut
From: Sclat Dok
Okay, Pop. I won't argue with you. Say hello to Mom and tell her I am safe.
By
the way, what would you like me to bring you from Earth? Some nice Gucci shoes? A case of Twinkies? Let me know.
2 comments:
Perfect. :D
'If I can't figure it out then it doesn't deserve to exist!' LOL
To agirlcandream --
That has probably been said, or at least thought, by 2/3 of computer users over the age of 50.
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