Showing posts with label performance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label performance. Show all posts

Thursday, December 25, 2025

Opera is Funny, and I Don't Care Who Knows It

 

Image purchased from Shutterstock

Opera is serious, right?  It’s a fusion of music and drama.  The characters fall in love, sometimes with someone who doesn’t love them back.  Someone usually dies, sometimes more than one person.  Ancient gods go gaga over a magic ring.  Leading ladies die of tuberculosis, poison, murder, and suicide.  All kinds of dramatic things happen.  If the opera is a comedy, the audience is permitted to laugh at the funny parts, but most operas are tragedies, not comedies. 

A great performance is usually greeted with bravos and ovations.  Sometimes the audience stands up to applaud, not just when they are all putting on their coats to try to get out of the theater before everyone else stampedes out the exits.

However, funny things can happen during performances, sometimes unplanned.  There is ample opportunity for things to go wrong, and they sometimes do.

For instance, there was once a performance of Puccini’s Tosca where the entire show was ruined by a gunshot.  In this opera, all three leading characters die in a literal case of overkill.  The tenor dies in the end by firing squad.  In this production, the sound of the shot was provided by a man backstage shooting off a blank bullet from a handgun.  On one memorable night, the gun failed to go off.  The conductor held the orchestra on a chord, waiting for the gunshot.  The tenor stood and waited.

There was no big bang from backstage.  The tenor looked at the conductor.  The conductor looked at the tenor.  Finally, the conductor gave a signal.  The tenor fell down.  The firing squad exited the scene.  The orchestra continued playing the music.

The gun went off.  The audience dissolved in laughter.  A super-dramatic tragedy was instantly turned into a comedy.

In the early twentieth century, the great tenor Leo Slezak was known, among other roles, for his portrayal of Wagner’s Lohengrin in the opera of the same name.  In this opera, the knight Lohengrin makes his entrance and exit in a boat pulled by a swan.  Either this is a magical swan or swans in the Middle Ages were super birds, with the strength of huskies, able to draw a boat with a fully grown man inside.

In one performance, the boat failed to appear for Lohengrin’s exit.  Seeing this, Leo Slezak calmly turned to the audience and asked, “What time is the next swan?”

The man often designated the greatest singer of all, the early twentieth-century tenor Enrico Caruso, made his own onstage amusement by pulling pranks.  During the second act of Puccini’s La Bohème, which takes place in a café, he would take prop paper and prop menus, draw caricatures of male sexual organs, and pass them on to his female colleagues.  He also once handed a hot sausage to a famous soprano during a performance.  She was not amused.

The great Italian bass Cesare Siepi was known for his portrayal of Mozart’s Don Giovanni in the opera of the same name.  At the end of this opera, the protagonist is taken down to Hell, accompanied by a chorus of demons and a lot of smoke onstage.  During one performance, the trap door that was supposed to take Don Giovanni to Hell got stuck on the way down.  Mr. Siepi stepped out of it and back into it, and it stuck again.  The handsome bass was up to the occasion.  He turned to the audience and said, “Oh my goodness, how wonderful!  Hell is full!

Fortunately for the art form and the people who practice it, instances like the ones above are the exception rather than the rule, but when they happen, they become the stuff of legend.


Saturday, November 8, 2025

A Crazy Stream of Consciousness

 

Image purchased from Shutterstock

If I could have one talent that I don’t have now, I would love to be a stand-up comedienne.

Is it okay to call myself a comedienne, or do I have to say “comedian” for the sake of political correctness?  Well, okay, I don’t mind being a comedian if that will make people happy and shut them up.

Now that I have that out of the way, I must start by saying that I admire anyone who can get up in front of an audience and talk and be funny.  Being funny in normal life is relatively safe, as long as you hang around with people who have a sense of humor.  Being funny in front of an audience of strangers requires an enormous amount of chutzpah.

I love being funny in print.  I can say anything I want as long as it’s going into a computer or on paper.  I don’t have to see anyone’s reaction until people start posting comments, and if they don’t like what I wrote, I don’t have to give a rat’s rear end.  The commenters are somewhere miles or even states and countries away from me, and they are not going to come after me with a baseball bat or heckle me from a table in a nightclub.

Okay.  I can be very funny onstage if I am in a play or a sketch, where I can be someone other than myself.  Put me in a comedy, and I’ll get laughs galore.

Put me onstage being ME, or some version of me that I’m making up, and I’ll probably fall flatter than a piece of paper, even if I can remember all my jokes and keep from stammering and going blank, or whatever unpleasant thing will happen to me.

Speaking about unpleasant things that could happen – I don’t know what I’d do with hecklers.  The best answer I ever heard anyone give a heckler in a comedy club came not from one of the comedians, but from the evening’s singer.  She looked at the woman who was heckling everyone that evening and said, “You look like you’re sitting on a vibrator.”  I don’t know if I would ever have that kind of presence of mind onstage.

Of course, I have never actually TRIED to be a standup comedien ... er, comedian.  Sorry about that.

I just don’t have that kind of grit.  What would I do if I got up there, told jokes, and nobody laughed?  What if they were all talking and not even paying attention to me?  What if I stumbled?  What if I forgot what I wanted to say?  Why am I going through all this when all I’m doing right now is sitting at a computer, typing?

Maybe someday I’ll have the guts to try to stand up and be funny.  We’ll see.  In the meantime, I have to be content to write funny, and I am getting pretty good at that

Opera is Funny, and I Don't Care Who Knows It

  Image purchased from Shutterstock Opera is serious, right?  It’s a fusion of music and drama.  The characters fall in love, sometimes with...