Child-Proof Food Containers?

This is hard to open, too.

Okay.  I can understand why medicine bottles are made hard to open.  Children get into everything, and we don’t want them to experiment with medications they have no business taking.  So yes, medicine bottles should be hard to open, at least for kids.

But food?  Why on earth should a jar of food be impossible to open without a chainsaw?

Take, for example, that new jar of peanut butter that you are trying to open because, let’s say, you are making lunch for a couple of kids.  You start with confidence, sure that one good twist of the wrist will loosen up the lid.

The lid refuses to budge.  You heave a sigh and try again.  The thing remains stubbornly tight.

After uttering a couple of mild curses, you bang the lid against the countertop a couple of times.  Then you try again to open the jar, with no luck.

You wrap a kitchen towel around the jar and try again.  Nothing happens.

You take a table knife and tap the entire circumference of the lid with it.  That has no effect, either.

You run the hot water in the sink until it gets really hot, then you put the jar lid under the flow and hold it there for a minute.  You take it out and try to open it again.  Try is the operative word because again nothing happens.

You try the kitchen towel and the banging against the counter tricks again.  By this time, you want to throw the damned jar out the window.

You set the jar on the counter, having decided to make baloney sandwiches instead.

After you make and pack the baloney sandwiches, you try once more to open the jar of peanut butter, just for the hell of it.

This time you manage to open it.

That is the end of this story, as far as I am concerned.

You Know It's Time to Declutter When ...

In every life, there comes a time when one has to get rid of some of those possessions that have, over the years, multiplied like oversexed rabbits.

Oh, but all those things have a use, you say.

Yes, but have you used them at any time in the last two years?

Well, no, but I might.  You never know.

Get rid of them!

Is the path from your living room to your kitchen an obstacle course?  If your answer is yes, you might want to consider dumping that ottoman instead of having to dodge it all the time.

I have things stored in that ottoman, you say.

When was the last time you looked at any of those things you have stuck in there?

Well ...

Get rid of them, then get rid of the ottoman!

Is your closet bulging with clothes, some of which you last wore when Clinton was President?  If so, maybe your wardrobe needs a cleaning-out.

Oh, but I can’t get rid of my old clothes, you say.  Suppose they come back into style, and I lose enough weight to wear them again?

Will you wear them again, or did you get tired of them years ago?  What about the ones that are falling apart?  And then there are the ones that you never wear because you don’t like them or they don’t go with anything else.

Well ...

Get rid of them!

I can see the tears forming on the faces of some of my readers at the thought of getting rid of beloved junk that is taking up valuable space in their homes.  I sympathize because I am one of them.  I, too, share my living space with an assortment of useless items that would probably be happier in the local thrift shop.  There they could be adopted by people who would love them and care for them, or at least use them.

I am determined to rid my space of anything that isn’t contributing to the decor of my apartment, entertaining me, enriching my life, or making life more comfortable.

I’ll start tomorrow.