Observations of an Aging Baby Boomer
|Aging Baby Boomer Observing|
1. Archaeologists have discovered an "Elixir of Immortality" in an ancient Chinese family tomb. This is possibly the first example of a scientific experiment gone wrong because everybody in the grave is dead.
2. The length of time it takes a package to reach your house is in reverse ratio to the importance of the package.
3. Never trust anyone over 70. We’re old enough to know all the tricks if we can remember them.
4. Never judge anyone until you have walked a mile in his shoes. If the shoes don’t fit, you’re screwed. Being screwed gives you the right to get mad, which provides you with the right to search out the owner of the shoes and clobber him.
5. Early to bed and early to rise can make a person really grouchy, especially if everyone else is having fun while you’re in bed.
6. Yes, your dog or cat loves you, so stop wondering about it.
7. Scientists are finally figuring out that procrastination can be good for you. I could have told them that myself, but I kept putting it off.
8. Historical facial reconstructions are showing us, more and more, how ugly some of the famous people were.
9. Old age is a lot of fun – for the manufacturers of canes, walkers, orthopedic shoes, and support stockings.
10. Never sneeze at senior discounts. Those $2 will buy you half a coffee at Starbucks.