Who's Afraid of Big, Bad Me?

Ah, come on, Mom!  I’m the Omega Wolf of the pack.  Nobody is afraid of me, and the females won’t come near me, even when they’re in heat and horny as the deer that we have for dinner.  Why do I have to take all these Big Bad Wolf tests, just so that I can learn to scare a few humans?

Okay, okay.  Rite of passage and all that.  I don’t have a choice, right?

How come you only agree with me when it means I have to do something painful?  No, I won’t shut up.

Did I hear you right?  You want me to go into this FROZEN lake and swim around?  You want me to catch pneumonia?

I know wolves don’t get pneumonia, but we get other rotten diseases.  You want me to get a rotten disease?  Again, I will not shut up.

Okay, I’ll step into the water.  Look, I’m stepping in.

OW!  This water is COLD!  What am I, a polar bear or something?

Okay, okay.  I’ll walk in further.  I’m doing it right now.  I’m up to my thighs in icy cold water.  Pretty soon I’ll freeze to death, it will be all over, and you’ll be very sorry you made me do this.

AAYYEE!  Something just touched me under the water!  A rattlesnake!  It must be a rattlesnake!

Oh, it was just a minnow.  Did that big, graceful, ballet-like leap I just made count toward my grade?

Yes, I’ll shut up.

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Inspired by a picture prompt posted on the Facebook page of the Writing Prompts Group on 6/14/2018 by Michele Rice Carpenter.