1 I
will not poke fun of Donald Trump. It’s
too easy to poke fun of a vain, vulgar, stupid, racist narcissist whose mental
and emotional development probably ended in the fifth grade and who has all the
physical attractiveness of a slug. When
it’s too easy, it isn’t fun. Besides, he
isn’t funny. He’s America’s worst
nightmare.
 |
| Worse than this one! (I think that's him on the right.) |
2. I
will not complain about having Writer’s Block.
I’m sitting down right now and I’m writing. Words are coming out of my head and onto my
computer. Therefore, I will shut up and
write something and stop whining.
3. I
will not sell my apartment and move to the farthest reaches of Outer
Mongolia. Donald Trump has not yet been
elected President. (Sorry. I couldn’t pass that one up.)
4. I
will not go ice skating. It isn’t that I
don’t think it would be fun. I think it
would be great fun. I just can’t ice
skate. That’s pretty important if you
plan to go ice skating.
5.
I
won’t win a Pulitzer Prize for my fiction.
I’ll wait a couple of years for that one. I have to write a novel first.[*]
6. I
will not walk to Boston. I will walk to
the supermarket and back. That’s
all. The only reason I will walk to the
supermarket is that I live in New York City, where almost everybody walks
because operating a car in this city is like trying to steer an ice cube
through a glacier.
7. I
will not do my laundry. I haven’t done
it for a couple of weeks. Why should
today be different?
8. I
will not make Donald Trump jokes … OOPS!
I already said that. Sorry.
Kathy Minicozzi is the author of Opera for People Who Don't Like It, available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle.
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