All of us have at least one family member whose taste in just about everything is more on the level of beer and Rice-a-Roni rather than champagne and caviar. Here are some ideal Christmas gifts for your redneck relative who has everything.
Wall/Window Décor
A talking/singing fish wall plaque
A picture of Elvis done on black velvet
Little fishes for the bathroom wall (best if they don’t
match the shower curtain)
Framed pictures from a local dollar store
Home Accessories
A statue (of anything or anyone) with a clock in its stomach
A very large, fake Chinese vase made of some metal that
clangs when you drop it
Fake Egyptian, Asian or African statues, painted in vivid
colors. Nefertiti is very popular.
Wax or plastic fruit for the kitchen table centerpiece
Lawn Accents
A garden gnome. For
Catholic rednecks, a plastic St. Anthony shrine.
An old tire and a strong rope, to make an ideal tree swing
Food
A month’s supply of Budweiser beer
A month’s supply of Hamburger Helper
A box of Russell Stover chocolates and one of those big
containers of popcorn that looks like a painted trash can
This should be enough to get you started on the task of
finding just the right Christmas gift for that one family member who has been
so hard to shop for.
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