8 Things I Will Not Do Today
1 I will not poke fun of Donald Trump. It’s too easy to poke fun of a vain, vulgar, stupid, racist narcissist whose mental and emotional development probably ended in the fifth grade and who has all the physical attractiveness of a slug. When it’s too easy, it isn’t fun. Besides, he isn’t funny. He’s America’s worst nightmare.
|Worse than this one! (I think that's him on the right.)|
2. I will not complain about having Writer’s Block. I’m sitting down right now and I’m writing. Words are coming out of my head and onto my computer. Therefore, I will shut up and write something and stop whining.
3. I will not sell my apartment and move to the farthest reaches of Outer Mongolia. Donald Trump has not yet been elected President. (Sorry. I couldn’t pass that one up.)
4. I will not go ice skating. It isn’t that I don’t think it would be fun. I think it would be great fun. I just can’t ice skate. That’s pretty important if you plan to go ice skating.
5. I won’t win a Pulitzer Prize for my fiction. I’ll wait a couple of years for that one. I have to write a novel first.[*]
6. I will not walk to Boston. I will walk to the supermarket and back. That’s all. The only reason I will walk to the supermarket is that I live in New York City, where almost everybody walks because operating a car in this city is like trying to steer an ice cube through a glacier.
7. I will not do my laundry. I haven’t done it for a couple of weeks. Why should today be different?
8. I will not make Donald Trump jokes … OOPS! I already said that. Sorry.
Kathy Minicozzi is the author of Opera for People Who Don't Like It, available on Amazon.com in paperback and Kindle.