Sloppy Shopping

My shopping lists are useless.  I can never go to any supermarket, dollar store, bookstore or any other place that sells stuff and come out with only the thing(s) I intended to buy.

When I say never, I mean never, as in at no time whatsoever in anyone’s dreams.

I have the same problem with online shopping.  It’s my way of giving happiness to the many employees and shareholders of Amazon.com and other favored shopping sites, who depend on people like me to keep the business going and the stock values up.  I love to spread such joy.  It makes my life complete, along with the latest Stephen King novel, a 5-pound bag of M&Ms and that Capri set that I couldn’t resist because it had a picture of a cute puppy on one leg.

To illustrate the problem, let’s say that I am planning to do a small supermarket shopping.  I have searched my cupboards and my fridge to see what’s missing and have come up with the following list, or something like it:

1 quart of milk
1 quart of half & half (because I must have it in my coffee)
½ rotisserie chicken
1 loaf of whole wheat bread
A couple of apples or pears
A pint of frozen yogurt
Two or three frozen meals (because I hate to cook)

That seems sensible for a single person, right?

Think again.

Once I get into the store, choose a shopping cart and begin to wander around the aisles, anything can happen, and it does.

You can bet your last dollar that my final haul will look more like this:

1 quart of milk
1 quart of half & half
Some of those little Laughing Cow Babybel cheeses that are hard to open but so easy to eat
½ rotisserie chicken
1 loaf of whole wheat bread
4 hunks of Mexican bread
A bag of Double-Stuff Oreos
A couple of apples or pears
A couple of bananas
2 pounds of grapes
A pint of vanilla gelato
A half-gallon of frozen yogurt
A 2-liter bottle of A&W Root Beer, just because I used to drink it in college
Five Lean Cuisine meals, because they are on special

There’s more, but you get the idea.

What should have been an easy haul has turned into four double bags of groceries that are so heavy I am forced put them down on the sidewalk to rest my arms four times while walking the equivalent of three blocks home.

I would seek help for this compulsion, but then I wouldn’t have the dubious pleasure of buying “forbidden,” non-listed things like Double-Stuff Oreos and big containers of frozen yogurt.

What fun is that?


Comments

Cathy Sikorski said…
I have this same syndrome. Whenever I to to pick up a 'few things' it ends up costing me over 50 bucks for sure. The only thing is I have a car, so there's no limit to my madness.
Kathy Minicozzi said…
I think you and I were separated at birth! LOL!

Our local "odd lot" store is another dangerous spot for me to enter. They are likely to have just about anything in there, and they know just how to exhibit everything to maximum effect. You might enter the store not knowing how much you desperately need a red, white and blue tee shirt, but if they have any in your size ... fuhgeddaboudit!!
John Branning said…
Kathy, where do you shop that you can purchase only HALF of a rotisserie chicken? What do they do with the other half? Will they also sell you half a head of lettuce? (There's an old joke about that request.)
Kathy Minicozzi said…
My local Foodtown supermarket sells rotisserie half-chickens. I guess they sell the other half to someone else. LOL

No, they don't sell half-heads of lettuce -- and I don't know which team the manager's spouse played for! ;) :D

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