After considerable thought (at least five minutes’ worth), I have come to the conclusion that it is a big mistake to legalize any presently controlled substances. As we have all been told for generations, you start with Weed, and before you know it you are lying in the gutter with glassy, heroin-filled eyes, mumbling to yourself, scaring people and singing Puff the Magic Dragon and Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, just before you die in agony from the best high you have ever experienced.
Using that same logic, it stands to reason that making extreme pleasure-inducing agents legal will soon result in their becoming commonplace items of ingestion. Imagine if you will, typical future family interactions:
“Henry, you have put enough cocaine on your cereal. Leave some for your little sister.”
“Mom! Johnny won’t share his opium with me. Make him give me some!”
“Okay. I have one coca leaf for each of you. That’s all you’re getting. So shut up and stop pestering me.”
“If I told you once, I told you a thousand times! Stop giving our heroin to the dog!”
“Honey, do we have any more Ecstasy or did the kids take it all?”
Are we headed for a future filled with stoned kids and pets and exasperated parents on speed? It’s something to think about while passing the joint around.
|This could be YOU!|
In case you haven’t figured this out already, this is meant to be funny, and nobody should take it seriously. There. I said it.