Monday, March 10, 2014

Springing Forward is for Pole Jumpers!



It’s Sunday morning, March 9, 2014.  Two things are special about today:

1.      It’s the First Sunday of Lent
2.       It’s this year’s Daylight Savings Time spring forward, lose an hour changeover day.

Two things that nobody looks forward to have punched us in the face at the same time.  It wouldn’t be so bad, except that I have a weekend job as a church singer and I have to sing an 8:45 AM mass every Sunday.

Of course, I made sure to set my alarm clock ahead.  I was not going to mistake the time.

But I forgot to set the alarm.

I wake up at 8:08.  It takes my groggy brain several seconds to realize that I only have about 20 minutes to get dressed, feed the cat, take my morning meds and get out of the house.

I am not a morning person.  I hate mornings.  It all started when I was born at 8:04 on a February morning.  I was forcibly evicted from a nice, warm, soft place into a cold room, held upside down by a doctor and slapped on the rear to make me cry, just so they’d know I was alive.  I never got over it.

(I wonder how many of those annoying, cheerful, energetic morning people were born in the evening.)

Do I make it to church on time?  Yes.  Just barely, but yes.  I didn’t know I had it in me to move so fast.  It just goes to show what you can accomplish when faced with an emergency, such as the prospect of being embarrassed in front of a church full of people, the organist and, worst of all, the priest, not to mention the disruption of a 2,000 year old liturgical tradition.

Fast forward to Monday morning, March 10.  This time the alarm is set, and it goes off right on time.  My body is not set, though.  It still thinks it’s an hour earlier than it really is and it’ll be damned if it’s going to get out of bed.  My brain finally prevails, and my body reluctantly gets on its feet.  It spends the next hour and a half dragging around, ignoring all signals from the brain, which is trying to tell it to get its butt moving.  I still manage to get out of the house in time to get to work early, but don’t ask me how.

I have come to the conclusion that Daylight Savings Time was invented by The Devil in order to confuse humanity, throw us into disarray and torment us.  How else can you explain it?

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