All of us have at least one family member whose taste in just about everything is more on the level of beer and Rice-a-Roni rather than champagne and caviar. Here are some ideal Christmas gifts for your redneck relative who has everything.
Wall/Window DécorA talking/singing fish wall plaque
A picture of Elvis done on black velvetLittle fishes for the bathroom wall (best if they don’t match the shower curtain)
Framed pictures from a local dollar store
Home AccessoriesA statue (of anything or anyone) with a clock in its stomach
A very large, fake Chinese vase made of some metal that clangs when you drop itFake Egyptian, Asian or African statues, painted in vivid colors. Nefertiti is very popular.
Wax or plastic fruit for the kitchen table centerpiece
Lawn AccentsA garden gnome. For Catholic rednecks, a plastic St. Anthony shrine.
An old tire and a strong rope, to make an ideal tree swing
FoodA month’s supply of Budweiser beer
A month’s supply of Hamburger HelperA box of Russell Stover chocolates and one of those big containers of popcorn that looks like a painted trash can
This should be enough to get you started on the task of finding just the right Christmas gift for that one family member who has been so hard to shop for.