Posts

Showing posts from January, 2017

UPDATED TALES: Cinderella

Image
Once upon a time, in a country nobody ever heard of, there was a prince whose name was Julio:  Julio Prince.  His parents were Marvin and Gertrude King, who were the constitutional monarchs of the country.  They had no power, but they looked good and they had nice manners.  Nobody wanted to get rid of them because, well, they were the king and queen, and you couldn’t get rid of a king or a queen unless you beheaded them.  Nobody wanted to do that.
Julio was the crown prince.  He was single and available.  This was a cause for concern, because Julio caused a new royal scandal every month with a different person.  The people loved him because his escapades made good tabloid reading, but the queen’s blood pressure was getting dangerously high and the king had started to drink large quantities of anisette.  Even the prime minister was not immune to the pressure.  She had taken up smoking Russian cigars again.
The king, the queen, the prime minister and the heads of all 10 parties in parl…

Stupid is as Smart Does, or How to Make an Ass of Yourself 101

Image
I have a decent IQ.  No, I don’t know what it is.  Our elementary school wouldn’t tell us.  They didn’t even tell us they had given us an IQ test, although it was obvious to most of us what it was.  Before that test was given, my teachers had considered me pathetic.  Afterward, I became the Smart Kid Who Wouldn’t Apply Herself.  Neither appraisal made me popular with my instructors.
Now that I have established the fact that I am not stupid, I will begin my story.
I have two Kindle readers.  I bought one of them in December, 2010.  It is an older model with a keyboard, and it does not have a touch screen.  I bought the other one in March, 2015.  It is a Kindle Voyager, with a touch screen and no keyboard.  It is smaller than the other one.  In other words, they don’t look alike and I don’t operate them in the same way.
Until a few days ago, I had not used either Kindle for some time.  Instead, I have been going through a phase of buying printed, paperback books.  The two Kindles have lang…

The Great Remote Control Conspiracy

Image
Many people tell of socks that disappear into an undiscovered dimension of an automatic washing machine.  My socks do not abscond in the laundry room, for which my feet are grateful.
I can’t say the same thing for reading glasses and TV remote controls.  I am convinced that those items have formed a conspiracy designed to confuse and exasperate me.
In other words, my reading glasses and the TV remote control are in cahoots to drive me crazy. I own several pairs of those cheap reading glasses from Walgreens.  They work well, and they don’t cost a lot.  I like to keep a pair in my purse, another pair by the computer and another pair near my bed, in case I want to read something or do close work, like knitting.
The TV remote control can end up anywhere in the living room of my little studio apartment.  It has even appeared in the kitchen once or twice, leaving me wondering how it got there.
I think the remote control is the mastermind of these plots, because it is by far the most accomp…