Bag Balm
What I imagine it to be: A tranquilizer for unattractive old ladies
What it is: A salve to be applied to a cow’s udder. It can also be used by humans as a hand
lotion.
Fagottini
What I imagine it to be: A group of tiny gay men who insist that a
“faggot” is a piece of firewood that provides light and warmth and, therefore,
it is not an insult
What it is: Stuffed pasta
Megapussi
What I imagine it to be: (1) A witch’s brew that enlarges lady parts;
(2) A giant cat.
What it is: Potato chips
Nuclear Licorice
What I imagine it to be: A minuscule device disguised as a piece of
black candy, designed to blow up entire cities.
What it is: Plain old ordinary brown colored lozenges
Soup for Sluts
What I imagine it to be: A liquid aphrodisiac for women that turns
them into raving nymphomaniacs
What it is: A form of Ramen noodles
Vergina
What I imagine it to be: Virginal lady parts
What it is: Beer