Showing posts from February, 2014

Things Nobody Should Have Ever Told Us

There are some wise-sounding sayings that are not as wise as they sound.It would have been better if they had not been said in the first place, or if they had been rephrased to make more sense.

Age is just a number. (Some anonymous old person).  So is the daily Pick-4.  Your chances of coming out ahead with that aren’t very good, either.
On the other hand, if anyone ever dares to call me old or suggest that I act my age, may all of their hair fall out, may they always smell like a field of dead cannabis and may they be ardently pursued by someone really ugly who only wants them for their money.
Follow your bliss. (Joseph Campbell).  This sounds really good.  The problem is, how do you define “bliss?”  To some people, smoking a joint until their eyes glaze over and they become stupid is bliss.  That’s an easy bliss to follow, too.  All it takes is some Weed, a room with windows and neighbors who don’t mind the smell.  Other blisses are not so easy to follow, such as a career as a writer.

Confessions of a Hopeless Shopper

I can’t walk into any retail establishment and come out with only what I intended to buy.  I must have inherited this trait from my father, because all of my immediate female ancestors were great with money, even frugal.  My maternal grandmother thought that she was splurging if she bought her bread fresh instead of a day old.  My mother would never buy more than a dollar’s worth of gas at a time for the car.  (This was miserly, even in the 50s.)  My father’s mother once repaired one of my broken sandals by sewing it up with her own hands.  It didn’t look very good, but it held the shoe together.
My father, on the other hand, knew what money was for – to buy stuff.  Buying stuff on impulse made it more fun.It was I Love Lucy in reverse.  Instead of the woman being the one who was scatterbrained with money, it was the man.  I take after him in this, with just enough influence from the female side to feel guilty about it.*
My typical shopping trip goes something like this:
It’s early eveni…